Yesterday, I shifted into my own house. It’s a rented 1BHK apartment. It’s small and airy and bright. It’s mine.
I grew up in an extremely protective family, with parents who took care of everything we needed. And then I went to live in a hostel where everything was easily available. When I did shift into an apartment, it was with a couple of other friends. We were students living on a minimal budget, but we did not want more than we needed, and life was simple. We lived out of a couple of suitcases, and the first one to buy a cupboard to keep her stuff was considered vain. Then I got married and shifted into my husband’s home. For four years, that was my home too. We bought a lot of stuff we did not need. I have already told you that story.
There is something not many relationship experts tell you. When there is clutter in a house, it invariable finds its way into your relationships. And closed spaces with too many things in them start dying. They cannot survive too much too soon. Too many things, too many thoughts, too many broken promises - We can’t survive gluttony. It’s self-serving, and very destructive. And most of all, it affects your relationship with yourself.
But for the first time in my life, I am living alone. And living alone is not the same as living on your own. There is a subtle but important difference. When you live alone, you live with yourself. When there is no other relationship to lean on, you have yourself. You fly solo. And that’s the most important commitment you make: Longer than a marriage, deeper than friendship, sweeter than motherhood. If you can smile when you look at your face in the mirror, and feel happy, your relationship with yourself is going well.
The apartment I rented was bare walls when I moved in. On the third floor. The door bell doesn’t work. The kitchen tap is leaking. The windows don’t shut properly. I don’t have a working kitchen yet, or an internet connection. The bathroom was left dirty by the previous tenants. And still, when I spent a big part of yesterday with the most important people in my life helping me set up my house, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I woke up this morning and said hello to the best Monday ever. A yellow and red living room, a blue themed bedroom, and a country style kitchen ... And this time friends, no clutter.