The relationship between my house and me is thriving. It responds to my needs, it flourishes under my care, and it fills my life with warmth. I think I am going to make my house my Valentine this year. I will buy it some flowers and I will buy it a gift. We will have a quiet date, with a nice dinner for one, and some candles and good music. It sounds better than bouquets and gifts and fake notes which now hold no meaning. True feelings are held within. They are expressed without a sound. Love is a wordless emotion. I think I am falling in love. I feel as if I am in love when I can smell the fresh, hand-washed laundry. I feel on top of the world when I cut and chop vegetables, and watch my simple meals cook. I feel great walking from room to room, watching all the happy colors unfold in my life.
I went through a phase when every memory became regret. When I could not look back without breaking down. When I did not put up the mirrors on the walls, because I could not bear to look at myself. But my house has made all that go away.
I feel a little more like myself every day. I am growing back into my skin. And it feels good. I am sticking to my promise of no clutter. So far, I haven’t bought any furniture for the house, and it doesn’t seem to be complaining. I found two run-down chairs in the loft, and painted them white. I sent away the old bed that was lying in the bedroom, and got two mattresses, that now make my bed. The living room has two bookshelves and some floor seating. My kitchen has all the things I will use for cooking, and nothing else. And as I rid myself of the clutter around me, I feel my life lightening up. I feel as if for the first time in years, I have space to breathe. I am there for my friends I lot more than before. I can see things I did not before. I have become more tolerant, especially with myself.
So far so good. It’s not like there aren’t any bad days. But as long as I can balance them with good ones, I guess this plan is working. On a less solemn note, I felt that the wardrobe in my bedroom needed a make-over. What do you think of Phase I?